Now Grandma stared at the space where Gorgonzola usually stood in the front yard. There was an imprint of gnome feet in the dirt, but no gnome. “Who took Gorgonzola?” Grandma asked, sounding exasperated. Her hands reached out toward the empty space.
“Are there footprints?” I asked. “Maybe we should match them up to the robber’s.”
Grandma looked at me. “Eliza Ann, Miss Junior Sleuth, why do you sound so happy that Gorgonzola has been taken?”
I love a good mystery. She knows that. “I’m not happy...”
“Well, put your finding skills to use, because I won’t be able to sleep until Gorgonzola is back.”
Gorgonzola was Grandma’s guardian gnome. She bought him after Grandpa died. She said she needed a protector in front of the house, but I think maybe the gnome reminded her of Grandpa.
She snapped her fingers. “I’ll bet it’s those kids, the ones who threw eggs at him on Halloween. Do you know where they live?”
“I could find out,” I said. But I really didn’t want to. Those kids were kind of tough. “Let me do some research first.”
A good detective knows her subject. So I went online to find out more about gnomes. I was shocked to discover there are organizations dedicated to freeing garden gnomes.
“Grandma,” I yelled, “come see this!”
Grandma looked over my shoulder at the computer monitor. “Well, that’s ridiculous. Gorgonzola wasn’t here against his will.”
Grandma was holding something funny on a platter. It looked like a Santa head without the beard. “What’s that?” I asked.
“Next-door Frank gave this to me a while back. He carved it out of cheese—it’s supposed to look like him. I stuck it in the fridge and forgot about it. Want some?”
“I don’t want to eat Frank’s head.”
“Suit yourself.” She sliced off the back of the cheese head and put it on a cracker.
I said, “Maybe we can post pictures of Gorgonzola and say when and where he went missing.”
Grandma chewed. “Hmm. I never thought to take a picture of him.”
But someone else had.
By the time I stopped at Grandma’s the next day, two pictures had arrived in her mailbox. In one, Gorgonzola posed by a huge wheel of cheese at the cheese factory. In another, Gorgonzola posed on a dock, looking out at a lake. On the back of each picture, someone had written Wish you were here! as if the cards were from Grandma’s gnome.
“That’s odd,” Grandma said. “Has he been kidnapped, or is someone teasing me?”
I examined the envelope. “There’s no stamp. The perpetrator must have put this in the mailbox himself. He stepped right onto your porch. Did you see anyone?”
“Just the mailman and next-door Frank. Frank came by to borrow some spray cheese. The goof sprayed some of it at me before he left.”
I looked at Grandma. She was oblivious. “Grandma.”
“Next-door Frank gave this to me a while back. He carved it out of cheese—it’s supposed to look like him. I stuck it in the fridge and forgot about it. Want some?”
“I don’t want to eat Frank’s head.”
“Suit yourself.” She sliced off the back of the cheese head and put it on a cracker.
I said, “Maybe we can post pictures of Gorgonzola and say when and where he went missing.”
Grandma chewed. “Hmm. I never thought to take a picture of him.”
But someone else had.
By the time I stopped at Grandma’s the next day, two pictures had arrived in her mailbox. In one, Gorgonzola posed by a huge wheel of cheese at the cheese factory. In another, Gorgonzola posed on a dock, looking out at a lake. On the back of each picture, someone had written Wish you were here! as if the cards were from Grandma’s gnome.
“That’s odd,” Grandma said. “Has he been kidnapped, or is someone teasing me?”
I examined the envelope. “There’s no stamp. The perpetrator must have put this in the mailbox himself. He stepped right onto your porch. Did you see anyone?”
“Just the mailman and next-door Frank. Frank came by to borrow some spray cheese. The goof sprayed some of it at me before he left.”
I looked at Grandma. She was oblivious. “Grandma.”
She was still laughing to herself about the spray cheese. “What?”
“It’s Frank. Next-door Frank has your garden gnome. He’s the one teasing you.”
“What?”
“Wake up and smell the spray cheese. You have an admirer.”
“You mean, he took my Gorgonzola?” Grandma shook her head.
“Maybe Frank wanted company, too.” Grandma looked thoughtful. “You think so?”
“I can sneak over and find out if Gorgonzola’s there,” I offered.
Grandma cocked her head at me, then said, “No, I think maybe I should go over.” Before she left, she stood at the mirror and fussed with her hair.
I went out to the porch, and soon I could hear Grandma say, “You know, Frank, I’m going to need that spray cheese back. May I come in?” I could see into Frank’s kitchen window. Gorgonzola was on a chair at the table. The other three places were set with plates rimmed with crackers.
A sharp rap on the window startled me. It was Frank, motioning for me to come inside.
“I thought the brains of this operation might want to join us for a snack,” he said, grinning as I stepped into the house.
“I’d love to,” I said, then looked at Grandma, who was picking up the spray cheese. She aimed it playfully at Frank. I shook my head and patted Gorgonzola’s hat.
Mystery solved. Gnome found. Special friend acquired. All in all, a cheeserific day.
“It’s Frank. Next-door Frank has your garden gnome. He’s the one teasing you.”
“What?”
“Wake up and smell the spray cheese. You have an admirer.”
“You mean, he took my Gorgonzola?” Grandma shook her head.
“Maybe Frank wanted company, too.” Grandma looked thoughtful. “You think so?”
“I can sneak over and find out if Gorgonzola’s there,” I offered.
Grandma cocked her head at me, then said, “No, I think maybe I should go over.” Before she left, she stood at the mirror and fussed with her hair.
I went out to the porch, and soon I could hear Grandma say, “You know, Frank, I’m going to need that spray cheese back. May I come in?” I could see into Frank’s kitchen window. Gorgonzola was on a chair at the table. The other three places were set with plates rimmed with crackers.
A sharp rap on the window startled me. It was Frank, motioning for me to come inside.
“I thought the brains of this operation might want to join us for a snack,” he said, grinning as I stepped into the house.
“I’d love to,” I said, then looked at Grandma, who was picking up the spray cheese. She aimed it playfully at Frank. I shook my head and patted Gorgonzola’s hat.
Mystery solved. Gnome found. Special friend acquired. All in all, a cheeserific day.
By Judith L. Roth
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